The 2nd most unlucky man in the world

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Author LouDog004
Tags action author:loudog004 bitesized playable rated
Created 2006-04-05
Last Modified 2006-04-05
by 5 people.
Map Data

Description I had a friend named Albert, and that was just the first of several terrible things in his life. At the age of four, he lost his right hand and most of his left fingers in a freak grouting accident. Albert’s mother fell onto a rusty spork when he was only eight, and even though the puncture was stitched up and properly healed, the wound was infected with flesh eating bacteria. She was consumed over the course of a few months. Albert loved the guitar, but couldn’t play because of his deformity. When he was thirteen, Albert was pushed from behind into the stomach of a pregnant woman. The baby was stillborn. Although it wasn’t really his fault, Albert lived to the end of his days with the guilt of killing that child. Albert’s father, only brother, and best friend – on their ways to unrelated destinations in separate vehicles - were all killed in the same pileup on the freeway. Albert had the misfortune of being frequently vomited on by passing drunks, and is the only known case of someone developing cirrhosis of the liver through second hand alcohol poisoning. The only woman Albert ever truly loved intentionally gave him the clap and moved far away. Albert developed prostate cancer and after suffering through several years of treatments and repeated remissions, it appeared that all traces of the disease were finally gone. Unfortunately, he came down with a nasty case of Ebola hemorrhagic fever. I visited him the day he died. As he lay there coughing up copious amounts of blood and body tissue, I asked him if he was ever angry about all the bad things he had endured. He leaned over and whispered, “I’ve led a hard life. But I know someone who has had it way worse. There was this guy, McP3000, whose maps always got sniped, and few people ever appreciated his particular gen...” He died then, and as I left the room, a pack of wolves jumped through the windows and tore poor Albert’s corpse to shreds.

Other maps by this author

Thumbnail of the map 'Timeframe' Thumbnail of the map 'Timeframe 2: Just Like Last Time, Only Different' Thumbnail of the map 'You don't need crutches to fly' Thumbnail of the map 'Cannibals and Missionaries' Thumbnail of the map 'Caterpillar sheds his skin to find the butterfly within' Thumbnail of the map 'Classic Rocket Arena.  Not really MetaNet classic, more Roman classic.  Like the animals leave less hungry, and you leave in pieces.'
Timeframe Timeframe 2: Just Like Last Time, Only Different You don't need crutches to fly Cannibals and Missionaries Caterpillar sheds his skin to find the butterfly within Classic Rocket Arena. Not really MetaNet classic, more Roman classic. Like the animals leave less hungry, and you leave in pieces.


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If you had, LouDog said he wasn't leaving. But why would you read further?

And LouDog, I don't what this place would be like if it weren't for you.

What a sad tale.

I adore this map.

Demo = close enough.
Demo Data


You said that the last map you made would be your last,why'd you go and make me sad that you were leaving?anyway nice map,here,I didn't have to much diffuculty...
at first, i thought it was kinda true, then you got to the brother, best friend, and the father, and i was like, bullshit.
kinda thanx....:p


Just a little demo I put together in memory of Albert.
Demo Data


One of the octagons is leaking.


Sorry to single you out, but your melodrama has stood out beyond all the rest of the constant sadness and lamenting going on in the forums and on NUMA. It's just a joke, but take it however you want.